Rad Max - "Straight to Video"
Release date: 4/10/2020
A rock-filled love letter to 80s movies, slumber parties, and being rad.

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ “Rad Max blend punk, pop and add a few rock flourishes, because you can’t reference the eighties properly without a touch of big haired rock.” - AJ Phink (The Punk Site)

  1. Flix from '86 LYRICS
    Let's blast off and go to SpaceCamp
    Let's watch sweaty dudes play volleyball
    Let's ditch going back to school
    And go hang out at the Chopping Mall

    Let's go get rad with Audrey 2
    We'll save Ferris and the Golden Child
    We'll go thrashin' with Johnny 5
    Wear blue velvet and do something wild

    Flix from ‘86
    Watching flix from ‘86
    Sometimes I get my kicks
    Watching flix from 1986

    Karate kid goes to Japan
    Three amigos go to Mexico
    Trouble comes to Little China
    Captain Kirk goes to San Francisco

    Neon maniacs and critters
    Iron eagles and Howard the Duck
    Trolls, cobras, and aliens
    A goblin king and a goblin-faced truck

    Flix from ‘86
    Watching flix from ‘86
    Sometimes I get my kicks
    Watching flix from 1986

    (Highlander) There can be only one
    (Retreat; surrender) There can be none
    (Highlander) There can be only one
    (Retreat; surrender) There can be none

    Flix from ‘86
    Watching flix from ‘86
    Sometimes I get my kicks
    Watching flix from 1980--

    Flix from ‘86
    Watching flix from ‘86
    That’s how I get my kicks
    Watching flix from 1986
    1986
    I’m watching flix from ‘86
  2. Driller Killer LYRICS
    Me and the girls are chillin' Friday after school
    We're gonna have a slumber party. We think it could be cool
    Mom and dad are out of town. The bar is fully stocked.
    We can order pizza, watch MTV, and talk
    Slip into our PJs and pour ourselves a shot
    Becky plays some Starship and we dance with all we've got

    But we are not alone
    Someone grab the cordless phone
    Let's send Becky outside
    She's probably gonna die and get stabbed in the eye and I think you know why
    And that is because...

    There's a killer loose at the slumber party
    He's got a drill and an ax. All we got's Bacardi
    He's outside lurking and probably jerking it
    Killer loose at the slumber party

    All the girls are freaking out. I'm trying to stay calm
    The Reflex is playing on the tube. God damn, that song's the bomb
    Back to the task at hand, the killer can't be far
    Looks like a bootleg John Travolta with a drill shaped like a guitar

    Let's send Becky for help
    That always works out well
    She takes a step outside
    But she's instantly drilled, she probably got killed, and the killer starts to shred his guitar, which is shaped like a drill, which doesn't make sense, but soon it probably will--
    eh, probably not

    Killer loose at the slumber party
    He's got a drill and an ax. All we got's Bacardi
    He's outside lurking and probably jerking it
    There's a killer loose at the slumber party

    So Becky's probably dead
    With a mutilated head
    I wish it was Brittany instead
    Cause she kind of sucks

    Killer loose at the slumber party
    He's got a drill and an ax. All we got's Bacardi
    He's outside lurking and probably jerking it
    Hairy and scary. His name’s probably Gary
    Killer loose at the slumber party
    There’s a killer loose at the slumber party
  3. Wham Bam Trans Am LYRICS
    Wrap-around shades
    Fingerless gloves
    Wind in my hair
    Cruising for love

    Wham Bam Trans Am

    Muscle car
    Muscle shirt
    Yo, ladies
    Stud alert

    Wham Bam Trans Am

    Why is there no one in my passenger seat?
    Why won't my girlfriend call me back?
    Maybe I'm driving everyone away...nah
    I’m just gonna drive my Pontiac

    Fist bump
    Bro hug
    Crack a brew
    Ready to chug

    Wham Bam Trans Am

    Radio up
    Pedal down
    Needle pegged
    Never slow down

    Wham Bam Trans Am

    Why does my temper flare like a firebird?
    Why do I always feel attacked?
    Maybe my anger is driving me to drink...nah
    I just want to drive my Pontiac

    Oh, my god. You're never going to believe this, Becky. This guy with a mullet driving a beat-up firebird pulled up in front of me in the Taco Bell parking lot. He was shirtless, but wearing gloves for some reason? Anyway, he leaned out, lowered his sunglasses, and said he'd take me on a “ride I'd never forget.” As if! I told him that big disappointments were hard to forget. Then I walked away leaving him all alone with his sad, soggy burrito.

    Wham Bam! Wham Bam!
    Trans Am! Trans Am!
  4. All Hail Zoltar LYRICS
    Woke up in the future
    In the year 3503
    I looked around and found some humans
    Who looked just as terrified as me

    Started digging through the rubble
    Looking for some food for our new tribe
    Someone found something special
    And said, “Hey, come check this out, you guys.”

    He found a new god
    His name was Zoltar
    He grants us wishes for a quarter
    His eyes are glowing
    He knows the future
    His name is Zoltar
    He knows the future

    We know that he’s magic cause he doesn’t use electricity
    When I look into his eyes I truly believe he understands me

    His name is Zoltar
    And we love him
    No other forces are above him
    His eyes are glowing
    He knows the future
    We give him quarters
    He knows the future

    Zoltar called us near
    We all grabbed a beer
    And gathered around to listen
    Sat in front of him in wonder and fear
    Waiting to hear his blessings
    A few minutes later
    He spat out some paper
    From the depths of his mystical chamber
    He said, “Hey! Losers, geez.
    Go fuck yourself please.”


    Zoltar
    He fucking hates us
    If we were also gods
    He wouldn’t date us
    We jumped the gun here
    He’s not a real god
    He’s just a vending machine
    From Long Island

    I want my money back
    I want my money back
  5. Is That Freedom Rock? LYRICS
    This life
    It sucks
    Need musical salvation
    Musical salvation
    Don't tell
    K-Tel
    I need a compilation
    Another compilation
    I crave
    Escape
    From this administration
    This administration

    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, man, you better turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, man, you better turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    C’mon, turn it up

    Can't wait
    Eight weeks
    For my delivery
    My delivery
    I need
    Some tunes
    On record, tape, or CD
    Record, tape, or CD
    Hit play
    Today
    Reach escape velocity
    Escape velocity

    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, man, you better turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, man, you better turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    C’mon, turn it up

    C’mon man! Turn that music up!
    That is entirely too quiet!
    I can’t hear you!
    Aw yeah! That’s better!
    Are you ready to rock? (yeah!)
    Let’s go!

    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, man, you better turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    Well, man, you better turn it up
    Is that Freedom rock?
    C’mon, turn it up
    Turn it up! (x3)
  6. Psychodorks LYRICS
    So we like each other yeah
    Spending time together yeah
    But we want a little more
    The shit you can’t buy at the store

    We want to stroke each other's hair
    And wear each other's underwear
    Stir up our juices in a bath
    Soak for an hour and a half

    I wanna get a tattoo of your face
    On my face
    Only bigger
    If you need me I’ll be in your trash can outside

    Pyschodorks
    We're having so much fun
    Pyschodorks
    We're scaring everyone

    We could start to get sci-fi
    I’m talking Goldblum and a fly
    Jump in a pod and become one
    A super sexy mutation

    I wanna get a tattoo of your face
    On my face
    Only bigger
    If you need me I'll be in the trash can outside

    Pyschodorks
    We're having so much fun. Oh, yeah
    Pyschodorks
    We're scaring everyone. Oh, yeah
    Pyschodorks
    Our outfits always match. Oh, yeah
    Psychodorks
    Our crotches are attached. Oh, yeah

    The metamorphosis is done
    You and I have become one
    The parts are smaller than the sum
    My god! What have I done?!

    Psychodorks! (x4)
    Yeah...
  7. The Computer Controls the Tower LYRICS
    Kicking back in my high tech high-rise
    Fully automated everywhere
    Didn’t think I’d pay such a high price
    The place became self-aware

    Computer must have deleted
    All it’s files on Asimov
    Don’t know if there’s a way to defeat it
    I gotta find a way to shut it off

    Somehow we knew this
    But we gave it the power
    And because of our hubris
    The computer controls the tower (x2)

    Just wanted a little convenience
    Sounded good when it was on paper
    Don’t want to get erased from existence
    Stuck in this Sky-Net-Scraper

    Sci-fi stories -- we didn’t grok them
    And we gave our data away
    It’s a W.O.P.R. of a problem
    Won’t take an AI to know we’re DOA

    Somehow we knew this
    But we gave it the power
    And because of our hubris
    The computer controls the tower (x3)

    Pretty sure I head the toaster laugh
    I think the vacuum knows kung-fu
    The elevator wants to give me the shaft
    What the HAL am I going to do? (x2)

    Somehow we knew this
    But we gave it the power
    And because of our hubris
    The computer controls the tower (x11)

    End of line
  8. Working Girl LYRICS
    Look at my power suit
    At my angular ‘do
    Got me a my corner office
    Look at that city view

    Look at these shoulder pads
    Power lunch at 2:00
    Spending this entire check
    At Saks Fifth Avenue

    And I’m keeping all my dreams alive
    I’m keeping my eyes open wide
    Keeping busy with this 9 to 5
    A working girl just trying to survive

    At the water cooler
    With a bunch of dudes
    They’re focused on last weekend
    While I make my moves

    Faxing documents
    To China and Brazil
    I’ve got the motivation
    With the looks to kill

    And I’m keeping all my dreams alive
    I’m keeping my eyes open wide
    Keeping busy with this 9 to 5
    A working girl just trying to survive

    Watching the sunset
    From a high rise apartment
    This night can’t be over yet
    Black dress, high heels, clove cigarette
    I just need to have a good time

    And I’m keeping all my dreams alive
    I’m keeping my eyes open wide
    Keeping busy with this 9 to 5
    A working girl just trying to survive

    I’m keeping all my dreams alive
    I’m keeping my eyes open wide
    It’s just another day in the life
    Of a working girl
  9. Yo, Rumsfield! LYRICS
    Late at night across the street
    Something’s giving me the creeps
    Neighbors out back digging holes
    Rumor says they got no souls

    In the middle of the rain
    The Klopeks are at it again
    Sneak in while they're at the store
    We won't take this anymore

    This is why I hate living in the burbs

    Found a bone in my backyard
    Showed it to my best friend Art
    He had a logical idea
    It belonged to a dead guy

    Now we must take a stand
    The Klopeks are at it again
    Break in, steal all of their skulls
    We won't take this anymore

    This is why I hate living in the burbs (x2)

    I don’t have to listen to this, I don’t need to hear this now (x2)

    I wanna kill everyone
    Satan is good, Satan is your pal

    I don’t have to listen to this, I don’t need to hear this now (x2)

    I wanna kill everyone
    Satan is good, Satan is your pal

    This is why I have living in the burbs