Big stick of beef jerky. (Convenient!)
A crappy cup of coffee. (Convenient!)
Twenty lottery tickets. (Convenient!)
40oz of Schlitz. (Convenient!)
Tiny roses in glass. (Convenient!)
A full-print shirt of a bass. (Convenient!)
64oz of Dew. (Convenient!)
Some dude doing kung-fuuuuu-uuuu
Doing kung-fuuuu-uuuu-uuuu.

They've got what you're hardcore jonesing for,
At your local convenience store.
There's tiny aisles to explore,
At your local convenience store.
Somehow there's always a sticky floor,
At your local convenience store.
Everything you want and more,
At your local,
At your local,
At your local convenience store.

Oh, I forgot to mention that it's the year 2084.
All my personal data is scanned when I walk in the front door.
My life is dollars and cents -- the real price of convenience.
My life is dollars and cents -- the real price of...

Ooo...

Spinning hot dogs. (Convenient!)
Off-season egg nog. (Ewww!)
Open 24/7. (Convenient!)
But called 7-11. (Weird choice!)
A single roll of TP. (Convenient!)
Blue raspberry slurpee. (Convenient!)
Ding-dongs and Twinkies. (Convenient!)
...BRAIN FREEZE! (Noooooooo!)
Not the brain freeze! Anything but that!
I've got blue raspberry slurpee in my mi-i-i-ind

They've got what you're hardcore jonesing for,
At your local convenience store.
There's tiny aisles to explore,
At your local convenience store.
The latest issue of Fangoria
At your local convenience store.
Everything you want and more,
At your local convenience store.

Convenient key change!

They've got what you're hardcore jonesing for,
At your local convenience store.
There's tiny aisles to explore,
At your local convenience store.
Somehow there's always a sticky floor,
At your local convenience store.
Everything you want and more,
At your local,
At your local,
At your convenience store.

Convenience store
Convenience store
Convenience store
Convenience store
Convenience store

So convenient!