Been a while since sharing lockers and hanging at the library · After graduation I moved out / moved on, but my problems kept following me · Now I'm wandering around at this house party · “Where's the bathroom? Upstairs? Thanks, man” · Close the door and turn to see some creepy dolls waiting for me on the can · Then they attack and I fight back · It's a free-for-all doll brawl · Must be the work of Gachnar · Good thing he's not very tall · Still battling demons from high school · Still battling demons · Still battling demons from high school · Still battling, still battling · Sitting on the couch with some Little Caesar's drinking a crap ton of Rainiers · About to party down on some party mix when a giant, ugly worm demon appears · Lurconis bursts in looking for a sacrifice · I put down my beer, crack my knuckles · Guess my fists will suffice · Still battling demons from high school · Still battling demons · Still battling demons from high school · Still battling, still battling · I was never five by five, but I took it day by day · And slowly little by little, I found demons to slay · I'd rather finish off a nice zinfandel, but I don't want to get swallowed up by this mouth of hell · Still battling, still battling, still battling, still battling, still battling, still battling, still battling demons from high school · Still battling demons from high school · Still battling demons · Still battling demons from high school · Still battling, still battling · Oh, oh, oh, whoa-oh

Big stick of beef jerky (Convenient!) · A crappy cup of coffee (Convenient!) · Twenty lottery tickets (Convenient!) · 40oz of Schlitz (Convenient!) · Tiny roses in glass (Convenient!) · A full-print shirt of a bass (Convenient!) · 64oz of Dew (Convenient!) · Some dude doing kung-fuuuuu-uuuu-uuuu-uuuu · Doing kung-fuuuu-uuuu-uuuu · They've got what you're hardcore jonesing for at your local convenience store · There's tiny aisles to explore at your local convenience store · Somehow there's always a sticky floor at your local convenience store · Everything you want and more at your local / at your local / at your local convenience store · Oh, I forgot to mention, it's the year 2084 · All my personal data is scanned when I walk through the front door · My life is dollars and cents — the real price of convenience · My life is dollars and cents — the real price of... · Ooo...spinning hot dogs (Convenient!) · Off-season eggnog (Ewww!) · Open 24/7 (Convenient!) · But called 7-11 (Weird choice!) · A single roll of TP (Convenient!) · Blue raspberry slurpee (Convenient!) · Ding-dongs and Twinkies (Convenient!) · BRAIN FREEZE! · Not the brain freeze! Anything but that! I’ve got blue raspberry slurpee in my mind… · They've got what you're hardcore jonesing for at your local convenience store · There's tiny aisles to explore at your local convenience store · The latest issue of Fangoria at your local convenience store · Everything you want and more at your local convenience store · Convenient key change! · They've got what you're hardcore jonesing for at your local convenience store · There's tiny aisles to explore at your local convenience store · Somehow there's always a sticky floor at your local convenience store · Everything you want and more at your local / at your local / at your local convenience store · Convenience store, convenience store, convenience store, convenience store, convenience store · So convenient!

The owls are always watching me and I really don’t know why · How’d I get to the Double R with a slice of cherry pie? Then a vision appeared to me glowing on my late night TV · A woman with a piece of lumber and a 1-900 number · She said, “Grab the phone and call me at the Log Lady Psychic Hotline · My log has so much to say and it’s only $4.99 · Each additional minute’s a dollar · Push those buttons and give me a holler · I’ll tell you what my log can see at 1-900-LOG-LADY” · “The owls won’t see us in here” · “You wear shiny objects” · “Fire is the devil” · “The fish aren’t running” · “Do you understand?” · I’m pretty sure I just got played · No way this was Lynch okayed · I spent more than I should on Miss Cleo with a hunk of wood · When she said, “Grab the phone and call me at the Log Lady Psychic Hotline · My log has so much to say and it’s only $4.99 · Each additional minute’s a dollar · Push those buttons and give me a holler · I’ll tell you what my log can see at 1-900-LOG-LADY” · Maybe the owls are what they seem · Maybe the owls are what they seem · Maybe the owls are what they seem · Maybe the owls are what they seem · Maybe the owls are what they seem · Or maybe I should call again

Galactic airwaves · Speakers ablaze · Space songs from my extraterrestrial radio · Alien anthems · My only companions · All night on my extraterrestrial radio · On my E.T. radio · My extraterrestrial radio · I don’t heart your radio · You’ve got your algo in my rhythm · Give me music by aliens so I can rock out with ‘em · Electromagnetic · Vibrating kinetic · Dancing frenetic · Extraterrestrial radio · Turn on, tune in, tune out the din of white noise with my extraterrestrial radio · On my E.T. radio · My extraterrestrial radio · I don’t heart your radio · You’ve got your algo in my rhythm · Give me music by aliens so I can rock out with ‘em · I want to rock to Van Hale-Bopp · Get down with Gravi-TLC, Andrometallica, or Galaxy & C Music Factory · Shoot me some Guns & Rovers · Don’t stop with the Virgo-Gos · I want to listen all night on my interstellar stereo · Electromagnetic · Vibrating kinetic · Dancing frenetic · Extraterrestrial radio · On my E.T. radio · My extraterrestrial radio · [Whoa-oh-whoas & oh-whoa-ohs] · Extraterrestrial radio

I’m finally done with you · Now I’m doing what I want to do · You’re out of my life, I swear · All thanks to my new eyewear · I found them in an alley after the Max Headroom finale · I put them on and now I see the real reality · With my shutter shades / shutter / shutter shades · In my new shutter shades · Shutter shades / shutter / shutter shades · Always wearing my shutter shades · Dudes change from rad to rats when I look through my plastic slats · And now I see the cretins peering through these pink venetians · They don’t block UV ray, but they let me see you play your grody little games all night · And now my future’s so bright · Shutter shades / shutter / shutter shades · Always wearing my shutter shades · Shutter shades / shutter / shutter shades · Feeling rad in my shutter shades · I shudder to think of life without my… · I shudder to think of life without my… · I shudder to think of life without my… · Shutter shades / shutter / shutter shades · Loving life in my shutter shades · Shutter shades / shutter / shutter shades · Looking good in my shutter shades · Always wearing my shutter shades · Feeling rad in my shutter shades

Do you remember when we said we’d never say die? Now we’re living without a treasure map just trying to get by · We used to never say die · We used to never say · We used to never say die · The goon docks used to be our whole world · Then we grew up and forgot · So fill up Troy’s beer bucket and don’t bogart the Copperpot · How’d we ride our bikes around Astoria when it’s so hilly? Why’d we never crack up at the name One-eyed Willie? We used to never say die · We used to never say · We used to never say die · Is it good enough for you? It’s not good enough for me · It’s not good enough · Good enough for you · Ay yi yi yi yi · We used to never say die · We used to never say we used to never say die · I want to never say die · How come I never say? Don’t make me ever say die · Never say die · We used to never say die · We used to never say die · We used to never say… · Never say die

White knuckle I'm gunning it · I'm Cannonball Running it down Atreyu Avenue with the Nothing in my rearview · Pedal to the metal, pen to the pad · Filling the blank with something rad · Pedal to the metal, pen to the pad · I've got the Nothing to lose, but the Nothing it gains · I've got nothing to lose · Outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Oh oh oh oh I gotta do something so I'm outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Oh oh oh oh I gotta do something to outrun the Nothing · Won't stop / can't stop so crank up the Blitzkrieg Bop · Hey ho let's go · Hey! Ho! Let's go! · I've got the Nothing to lose, but the Nothing it gains · I've got nothing to lose · Outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Oh oh oh oh I gotta do something so I'm outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Oh oh oh oh I gotta do something to outrun the Nothing · Avoid the void (Avoid the void) · Like the Noid but existential · Avoid the void (Avoid the void) · Surviving is preferential · Avoid the void (Avoid the void) · Outpace the space (Outpace the space) · Outflank the blank (Outflank the blank) · Avoid the void · I've got the Nothing to lose, but the Nothing it gains · I've got nothing to lose · Outrunning, outrunning, outrunning, outrunning, outrunning, outrunning, outrunning · Outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing · Oh oh oh oh I'm doing something and that's outrunning the Nothing · Outrunning the Nothing oh oh oh · Outrunning the Nothing · I'm doing something to outrun the Nothing

We just came to party · To have a good time in this abandoned mansion with our Boones Farm wine · Brad cracks some brewskies · Wanda whips out the ouija board · Bruce hits play on the boombox · Now let's party like we never have before · (What's that?) There's something in the shadows · (What's that?) Maybe I'm just too stoned · (What's that?) Wanda's got a weird look in her eye · Oh yeah We're totally boned · We were possessed to party and now we're just possessed · We need to find a way to lay these demons to rest · I don't want to be one of them · They seem pretty pissed · Someone find a phone and call the Party Exorcist · Now all my friends are demons · This party's lost its charm · Not only are they trying to kill me, but they drank the last of the Boones Farm · All the doors are locked · I gotta get out of this dive · Who drew this glowing pentagram? I don't think I'll make it out alive · (What's that?) There's something in the shadows · (What's that?) Some other-worldly yell · (What's that?) Brad doing a sexy dance · This party's gone to hell · We were possessed to party and now we're just possessed · We need to find a way to lay these demons to rest · I don't want to be one of them · They seem pretty pissed · Someone find a phone and call the Party Exorcist · Partied too hard? Did you throw a rager only to awaken an ancient evil? Well, call the Party Exorcist at 1-800-BAD-PARTY · Cause you’ve gotta get the hell out of there · We were possessed to party and now we're just possessed · We need to find a way to lay these demons to rest · I don't want to be one of them · Oh oh no · Someone find a phone and call…I think you know · Who you gonna call? (Ghostbusters!) · No. The Party Exorcist · Who you gonna call? (Beetlejuice!) · No. The Party Exorcist · Who you gonna call? (The Corey Hotline?) · No. The Party Exorcist · Who you gonna call? The Party Exorcist · The Party Exorcist

Well, great · We broke the Earth · Welcome to an Apocalyptic rebirth · Might as well live life for all that it's worth · It got hot and then it got hotter · Now we gotta protect our water from black-feather-wearing, roving marauders · Playing for water rations in our found-item fashion · We're gonna party to endure · Driving over every grain of sand in this wide-open wasteland on this dystopian world tour · We're playing through bike-powered amplifiers on stages lit by bonfires · We've got shiny spikes sticking out of our tires · No more Billboard lists · In fact the industry no longer exists · Guess we should have listened to those scientists · Society is gone, gone, gone · Society is gone, gone, gone · Society is gone, gone, gone · Society is gone, gone, gone · But we're going to party on, on, on · We're going to party on, on, on · We're going to party on, on, on · We're going to party on, party on, party on · Playing for water rations in our found-item fashion · We're gonna party to endure · Driving over every grain of sand in this wide-open wasteland on this dystopian world tour

It’s Friday night on the sectional · Grab TV Guide see what’s exceptional · Saved By the Bell, Murder, She Wrote · And so I reach for the remote · When the world is way too serious, I watch a new series · And when people really push my buttons, I push these · On my Space Command remote control · I control my destiny · Eating Hamburger Helper tuna casserole, I command all of space and my TV · Whoa-oh-oh-oh · All of space and my TV · Channel Hi · Channel Lo · I channel all my stress into this show · Got nothing better to do than watch TV and have a couple brews · Things are serious · Time for a new series · Oh, crap! Where’s my remote control? Somebody help me, please · I need my Space Command remote control · Where in the hell did you go? How am I going to watch 90210? Chances are remote · I’ve lost control oh oh oh oh oh · I’ve lost control · Lost control · I’ve lost control · I know…I’ll check the cushions, check under the chair · What the hell? It should totally be there · Check the bathroom, this pile of socks, this day-old pizza box · It’s not even underneath these Tiger Beat magazines · Hold up! What’s this in the back pocket of my Guess jeans? It’s my Space Command remote control · Didn’t think I’d see you again · Gonna reheat my tuna casserole and get some Ducktales in · Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Daring-do, bad, and good luck tales · Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Space Command remote control · I control of my destiny · Eating Hamburger Helper tuna casserole, I command all of space and my TV · Oh oh whoa oh oh · All of space and my TV · Whoa oh oh oh oh oh · All of space and my TV